Hey, hi, how's it going?

It's been a few days.  I've been dealing with pain.  That kind of thing makes me want to write about it, but sometimes I'm just in too much pain or too tired to deal with it.  I'm not going to apologise.  It's not something I can help, really.

A dear friend of mine, Michael, said to me that I should expand a post I made on G+ ages ago.  It's one of my few public posts.  It's dear to me, but even so it doesn't communicate quite what I want to say.  It rambles.  Well, it's a lot like me then.  So I'm working on it.

I just wanted to say, in the meantime:  Hi!

I seem to be getting some page views.  That's cool.  I wouldn't be posting here if I didn't want them.  I like comments.  I'm going to respond to you, because I appreciate that you take the time to chill with me, and then to speak up.

Really, even if you just say 'hi'.

Hi!  (Again)

Tiny fist shake of laziness

Did not want to go the gym this morning for water aerobics but I did; I went solely because I know I need to keep going, and I knew I would feel better.  And I did, I do, feel better.  

And I can always tell when my workouts are really taking effect because I get ravenous after.  Before my surgery about four months ago, I would walk into town centre (just five minutes from my gym) a couple of times a month and get something to eat, and a coffee.  Today was the first time since then that I've felt well enough, after, to do that.  But I've really only been going to the gym regularly again for the past month.  Yeah, it's taken me that long to really recover from the surgery, and also the additions of medications, and changes to medications. 

Had a gorgeous bacon egg and cheese butty, and a large coffee.  I even risked missing a delivery I have scheduled for today to do this.  I felt good, and I didn't want to go home yet.  It's a beautiful sunny day; typically for Northern England, bright and sunny this time of year means absofuckinglutely freezing, but I'd brought my big puffy coat, gloves, and hat just so I wouldn't be cold.  The place I go has the best food, and I've been going there for about six years now, and it's nice to go somewhere where they know me well.  To the point where I've been told by several of the staff that I don't have to remind them I don't have chocolate on my cappuccino because they do remember.  

So anyway.

Water aerobics was fantastic.  I still don't feel that horrific pain that I used to feel from regular aerobics.  Booked again for next week, but the week after that I'll have to skip as I'll be visiting my brother, his partner, and their lovely daughter.  It feels great to be getting my gym routine back, and to be active again, as much as I can be.  It's taking a lot of getting used to, adjusting everything for the fibro, but I'm finding it's worth it.  I'll take a hassle and change over the pain I'm used to experiencing.  

But I am home now, and resting for a bit in bed.  I think I'll play a bit of Borderlands 2, and make some coffee.  CL4P-TP, gimme a high five, ninja bro! 

Have a picture of my wall.  Just because. 

Wait, what?

I'm not really sure what I want to turn this into.  I'm sort of bad at things like blogging.  And anything that requires a continual obligation.  Or a memory, really.

I've already forgotten what I intended to be the point of this post.

It's okay, I'll come up with another one eventually.  Or I'll wander so far off topic that it won't matter.

It's most likely to be the second option.

Well.  Here I am though.  I'm 36.

I'm a mother of two.  My son is 16 and my daughter is 14.  Most posts will contain stuff about them.  If you don't like hearing about my kids, you should just go now.  I've pretty much raised them on my own.  

I suffer from chronic pain.  I have arthritis in my hands, and fibromyalgia.  If you think FM isn't a real disorder, kindly fuck off.  I lived in pain, every moment of my life, since I was 14.  It will only get worse.  It will never get better.  I have OCD.  Persistent panic attacks.  Social Anxiety.  I have had two breakdowns that left me with some neurological damage.  I don't leave the house very often.

I'm without religion.  I'm atheist.  All dieties included.

I'm sort of addicted to music.  And by sort of, I mean wholly and absolutely.  I cannot live without music.  There is no life without music.  I prefer Early Music.  I listen to a lot of game-oriented music and OSTs.

I'm a gamer.  I've been a gamer since the Atari.  I'll be a gamer until I die.  I've always preferred RPGs, but these days RPGs are so fucking easy.  It's ridiculous.  There's no challenge anymore.  So now I play a lot of FPSs.  At least it's a challenge.  Currently playing Halo 4 Spartan Ops, since they're still releasing new eps, AND THEY FINALLY HAVE GRIFBALL UP OMFG YESSSSSSSSS; also playing Borderlands 2.  I need to play the Hammerlock dlc but where my mac version be at, Gearbox?

I'm a history nerd.  A sci fi nerd.  A voracious reader.  I love social media.

I would rather stab you than go without coffee.

I'm also updating this post, as of 5 June 2013.  I turn 37 in 9 days.  I love being my age.  I have no problem admitting it.  I would never be any other age than what I am.  Because I lived those years.  I struggled and fought.  I loved them.  I still love them, because I am alive, and I have a place to live and food to eat.  I won't disregard them or degrade them by saying I have less of them.

I craft!  Congratulations if you've made it this far!  I really hope you have because now this blog is turning into my craft blog! I'll make a new post going on about that though.

Welcome!

Hi.  How's it going?